Hojo’s Transylvanian Pet Shop
by The Stick Rabbit
Summary: Scary but funny. Slight Vincent bashing, bless him. Sephiroth is trying to avoid a checkup with his dad in order to save his personal parts from a petri dish existance, Zack has conjured up a plan that will take them to the darkest parts of the lab!
1. Chapter 1

Hojo's Transylvanian Pet Shop 

Chapter One: Part one of Sephiroth's Check-up and the unsuspecting Vincent.

By The Stick Rabbit

Final Fantasy VII Characters belong to Square Soft (Also now known as Square Enix).

This what happens when I get sugar high and feel like writing, please read and review. The more reviews I get the faster I will update. Please review because no one ever does so I can't find out what I'm doing right or wrong.

Hojo walked around his sterile laboratory, which an outsider would have been blinded by the light reflecting of the white walls. He occasionally flicked a test tube containing the concoctions of sickly living substances, before noting something down on one of his many clips boards. Then he retreated to the solitude of his desk, with only the sounds of the bubbling test tubes and the occasional whimper of one of his unfortunate specimens to break the silence. A wicked smile spread over his face, as he flipped a piece of A4 paper over, which had one of his son's regular appointments with him, clearly dated and marked as that day within that hour.

Two men entered Shinra, through its sliding doors into the reception creating a stressed cold feeling with their presence, before continuing to walk down one of the many hallways.

"Zack, I really can't do this. I've had enough! Give me a raging Wutia army any day!"

Zack placed an arm on Sephiroth's shoulder, who was probably the strongest genetically created being on the whole of the planet, yet he feared his own father, who was nothing more but a creepy and sickle old man. "Hey it's only a check-up. It could be worst, he could be taking samples and asking embarrassing questions."

"Like he's not going to do that anyway, perhaps as a little surprise swab or needle will appear out of nowhere. Tell me of one occasion in my entire genetically engineered existence, he hasn't been taking a samples of this or that, which makes me wanna question things about myself I don't even want to think about. That madman must have parts of me growing on petri dishes all over that lab!" As Sephiroth said this the unnatural fluorescent green glow seemed to fade away inside his eyes, and sweat appeared to be dripping of his forehead.

Zack thought carefully for a minute which was very rare for him, as the cogs of his mind turned and clicked into place to form perhaps one of the most carefully constructed plans he had ever made in his entire life. He did all this while watching his friend who was looking as if he was walking the thin tightrope between sanity and madness.

"Sephiroth, I might just have an idea."

A wicked glow then returned to the general's eyes, in interest.

(âScene Changeâ)

The two generals climbed down quietly from a vent in the ceiling round the back of Hojo's lab. The silence was broken as Zack began to violently choke on the air.

"Seph, it reeks of stale blood and rotten flesh done here."

Sephiroth quickly clasped his hand round Zack's mouth.

He then whispered into Zack's ear, "This was your idea, and if you think this is bad you should smell the disinfectant were Hojo does his main research."

"You mean his main research on you." Zack said in a muffled voice before the general released his grip around Zack's mouth, but only to free his arm so he could painfully nudge Zack in the side.

"Owww!"

"Shut up! This place is ridged with hidden microphones and cameras Zack." Sephiroth said this while looking around in the unlighted part of the lab, where all Hojo's specimens were kept in dark damp cages and cells, wishing they had never been born or hanging onto the last breaths of there tortured lives.

Though Zack was looking into the darkness of each cage and cell, and straining his eyes to see the twisted inhabitants of each one.

"So what was your plan again Zack." Sephiroth said in a whisper.

"Were looking for either one of your clones, or a guy named Vincent who looks like a purple haired, crimson eyed version of you," As Zack said this a quite moaning of the word "Lucrecia, don't leave me here, Lucrecia'

Zack then approached the cell the moaning was coming from and looked at the door, which had Vincent written on it, in the handwriting of a mentally unstable man.

Sephiroth looked in through the barred window into a cell, which reeked of dried blood and stale urine.

"That guy looks like he's been through enough Zack. How where you even thinking of passing him off as me?"

Zack opened a plastic bag, which contained some of Sephiroth's old clothes, an unopened packet of fluorescent green contact lenses and a packet of white wig powder.

"I'll torture you later with the threats of throwing you in a pit containing rabid Chocobo's till you give me some answers about from were you got my clothes from. Though saving personal parts of my antinomy from a petri dish existence is more important right now!"

After saying this Sephiroth kicked open the unsuspecting Vincent's cell door open, and with one powerful blow of his right hand, knocked Vincent out cold. He then turned to Zack.

"Do your worst!"

At what Sephiroth said like a command Zack entered the cell.

To be continued?

Well I hoped you people enjoyed that. So if I get some reviews I will continue this story in the next chapter but if I don't within the month I will just remove it and stop writing any more of it all together. However if I do get reviews, I will consider all ideas sent to me and update weekly. Then you can expect more chapters that revolve around Hojo's lab with a 'tales of the crypt edge' to them with of course lots of humour and it will continue in a way that all the stories link to each other as a parody.


	2. Chapter 2

  
Hojo's Transylvanian Pet Shop 

Chapter Two: Part two of Sephiroth's Check-up and the unsuspecting Vincent.

By The Stick Rabbit

Final Fantasy VII Characters belong to Square Soft (Also now known as Square Enix).

This chapter has been written for my three wonderful reviewers (FFlove190, Linda of Lorule and pero pero), whom I now adore (so loads of freshly baked imaginary muffins for you enjoy)! Since I have put up loads of fanfiction in the past (most of which has been taken down because it was in script format) that nobody ever reviews apart from one person who reviewed my Gundam Wing fanfiction. Though I always review my own fanfiction to make it look like someone's read it and so the reviews sign appears above it, so all my fanfiction appears to always have at least one review (I know that's cheating so sue me!). Also I have a warning, I am dreadfully tired I've just finished my second week of sixth form (Year 12) at my new school, because my old school didn't have a sixth form, and it has worn me out. Also I have the stress that soon I will be applying for my first job (part-time) ever, because now I have just turned old enough recently. Today (17th September 04) my dad picked me up from boarding at High School to take me the 1 hour 20mins home to for the weekend though I will going back to boarding Sunday evening though as always to put up with another tiring week of school. Though its good to come home because I have started dreaming in boarding while I'm a sleep of sleeping, as strange as it sounds, so now I have my bed to return to and be well rested for a nice break from school tomorrow. Sorry I've written too much about myself, but the point is I'm trying to get across I'm tired and I don't feel very well. This probably is because my brains exhausted from going to bed at 11.30pm at night and getting up at 6.45am in the morning for a whole week so I can get to the wash room before all the other boarders do. I know I'm the architect of my own destruction here (line taken from the ani-matrix) but please don't blame me if a really stupid mistake comes up, I do check my work several times through but something always slips the net. Enjoy! (Sorry if that all sounded so cheesy)

A piece of mouldy slime ran down the outside of a pipe in the ceiling, only to fall in a perfect droplet and meet an even larger puddle on the floor. In the dim light two figures could be seen dragging an unconscious figure along the floor.

"Well what's the bright idea now, Spiky!" Sephiroth said this in a mocking tone, as Zack's hair didn't have the spiky appearance it normally had, thanks to it being dragged through a dirty air vent earlier.

"You don't look so good yourself Seph!" Zack said with a hurt expression on his face as he instantly ran his hand through his hair, trying to get it to resemble its original style but the attempt failed as his hair gel had lost its hold. This was because the dust and the dirt that suffocatingly hung in the air had got into it.

"Well I suppose we don't look so bad as this poor guy, was the make-up truly that necessary." Sephiroth said, as their heads both turned to the unconscious Vincent they dragged behind them.

"Well, I think the black lipstick and eye shadow, brought your gothic tones out quite nicely." Zack said this as he proudly looked at his artistic creation.

"You used what!" Sephiroth said this without managing to finish his sentence, because a slight stirring could be heard at the far end of the lab that sounded like Hojo, which sent chills down the spines of every living thing in hearing distance of the sound. The two men dragging Vincent with them retreated into the shadows. Soon the squeal of a cage door being slammed shut, and the groan of a beast could be heard before the sound of retreating footsteps.

"Looks safe now." Sephiroth whispered as one of his glowing green eyes peered around the corner.

"I suggest we go back through the vent." Zack said this in a regretful tone that suggested deeply that he really didn't want to, but he really didn't have much of a choice. Soon he found himself being given a leg up into the vent shaft above him and followed by Sephiroth hoisting Vincent up into the shaft as well. It wasn't long until they both found themselves collapsed on the floor of the corridor outside the lab.

"Fresh air has never tasted this good!" Zack said while panting as the air filled and cleansed his hungry and polluted lungs.

"Amen to that!" Sephiroth said this while offering his hand down to his companion to lift him off the floor.

"Thank you." Zack said this while looking up at Sephiroth. Sephiroth noticed that his friend's eyes contained a dizzy and faint expression from the lack of good air in the lab.

"Well what do we with him now, Zack." Sephiroth said while looking down at the heap on the floor, which was Vincent.

"heh heh..." Zack said while looking up innocently at Sephiroth.

"You didn't think of that now didn't you." Sephiroth started looking disapprovingly at Zack.

"Nuh huh." Zack's whole body twisted in an awkward way as he new impending doom was coming, and it did in the form of Sephiroth's elbow coming crushing down upon his head.

(...Scene Change...)

Zacks eyes slowly opened, only to be shocked by what they saw. Zack was lying on the ground on top of Vincent's unconscious figure, and he looked up to see Sephiroth was tying his wrists to Vincent's and he had already done the same to his ankles. Sephiroth then stood up.

"What the fu have you done to me Sephiroth!" Zack said as he hoisted himself up with Vincent hanging of his wrists and ankles.

"I tied you to Vincent." Sephiroth said this with a cruel smirk on his face.

"What the hell for!" Zack said waving his arms around with the unconscious Vincent mimicking his actions in front of him.

"So you can get us out of this mess you got us into by waltzing in there, puppeting Vincent in front of you, so Hojo will think he's me, and I'll hide behind the door and project my voice into the lab!" Sephiroth said this with an urgent tone in his voice.

"You bloo$ coward Sephiroth! My mess! If you just gone and had your appointment with your dad none of this would have happened in the first place." Zack's face had gone blood red, though it was soon covered when Sephiroth unclipped his cape and attached it to Vincent's shoulders, hiding Zack behind it. Vincent looked now like a zombie-fide Sephiroth, with a huge hump under his cape, which was Zack. Then Sephiroth's wristwatch started to bleep.

"Why is it doing that Sephiroth?" muffled Zack from under the cape.

"Because its time for my appointment."

"Please don't put me through this Sephiroth." Whimpered Zack. Though it was all in vain because with manic strength and within a second Sephiroth had flung open the lab door and thrown Zack tied to Vincent who was still unconscious into it. Sephiroth then left the lab door slightly ajar so he could project his voice through it on the other side.

Zack couldn't see a thing from under the cape, but he could smell the disinfectant, which was similar to the foul stench of the lemon disinfectant, that hospitals use, but the smell of the disinfectant used in the lab was a hundred times worse. No wonder Hojo's nuts, Zack thought to himself, this is solvent abuse at its worst.

"Dad I'm here!" It sounded like the voice had came directly from Vincent's mouth, but Zack knew it was Sephiroth behind the door projecting his voice. Though shivers soon flowed down his spine as Hojo muffled something from the far end of the lab and his footsteps becoming louder and louder as he was approaching Zack.

"Sephiroth don't for god's sake put me through this! He's gonna know Vincent's not you, after all fathers can recognise their own sons, and Vincent's definitely not his!"

"Zack relax, the labs to brightly lit, its blinding so everybody looks a bit alien down here anyway the fumes from the disinfectant got to Hojo's head years ago, he can't think straight."

"That's what I'm afraid of Seph!"

"Oh shut up! I'll buy you a drink afterwards!"

Zack was going to reply back to Sephiroth's final comment, but stopped when he heard Hojo's sickly voice ring in his ear.

"You're not looking to well my masterpiece of scientific work." Hojo's voice trickled in the fact that this would be a good excuse to run plenty of tests on his son. He soon looped his arm around Vincent's with some confused difficulty, as he didn't under stand what the warm object was that pulled away when he did so. "Have you been feeling strange at all lately?"

"No not at all daddy." Sephiroth projected his voice again; it had a slight tone of nervousness to it. Zack cringed when he heard Sephiroth use the word 'daddy'.

"Son why aren't your lips moving?" Hojo said becoming more confused with his son's appearance by the minute.

"Shit I didn't think of that!" Sephiroth said.

"What?" Hojo said.

They fell quiet as Hojo was trying to work out if it was himself that was the one feeling ill and Sephiroth was trying to work out what to say next. But before either could, Zack tried to do an impression of Sephiroth's voice that didn't really work at all but he still said this anyway:

"It's the black lipstick and makeup I used this morning has paralysed my face. Daddy please don't worry about me." Zack said this and tried to hold back laughing, as he knew this would annoy Sephiroth.

"Zack you bast3£!" Sephiroth shouted in anger but still managed to project his voice out of Vincent's mouth.

"Right then Sephiroth I really should run some tests on you firstly to see what's wrong with your face and secondly to see if you have recently developed a mild case of skitzofrenea." Hojo said this in a way that the only reason he cared was because it was starting to look like his greatest scientific creation was starting to act not so great at all. So he soon had seated the disguised Vincent down almost crushing Zack underneath on a chair similar to the one a dentist would use. "Lets start with a simple blood test Sephiroth, this may just sting a little bit." Zack couldn't feel the pain of the needle that entered Vincent's arm, but he could tell that it probably hurt more then a slight sting because of the force that Hojo used to push it through the skin. After taking the blood sample Hojo then went over to a cupboard and pulled out a beaker, he then went and lifted a jar of white powder off a shelf and took them to a table next to some sort of scientific computer. While he was mixing the blood in the beaker, with the white powder and then started placing wires with rods on the end into the into the concoction, little did he, Zack or Sephiroth notice that two crimson eyes were awakening behind green contact lenses.

How long is this gonna take?! Zack thought to himself. The weight of Vincent's body upon his was making it hard for him to breathe. Hojo soon returned to him with an extremely worried look on his face.

"Sephiroth this is extremely worrying! Your DNA has taken on a completely different form. I'm just going to fetch my operating equipment; there are just a few painless samples I want to take from you. In the mean time you can make your way to the operating theatre.

Sephiroth had quickly sussed out that a 'few painless samples' meant operating without any anaesthetics would be extremely painful, and that Hojo would probably soon find out about Zack and Vincent. So when Hojo had disappeared off into the far depths of the lab and was out of sight he quickly pulled out his masamune and ran towards Zack and Vincent. Within a second he had cut Zack free from Vincent, before reclaiming his cape. They then both ran out of the lab with the same fear in their eyes, without questioning each other, leaving the supposedly unconscious Vincent in the lab.

Hojo returned to whom he thought was Sephiroth lying in the dentist chair. He then demanded, "Sephiroth why haven't you made your way over to the operating theatre?!" though Hojo was surprised at the response he got. The supposed Sephiroth shook his head violently from side to side to reveal streaks of dark purple underneath the itchy white wig powder. He then turned his head away from Hojo so he could remove the fluorescent green contact lenses from his eyes. He then turned his head back towards Hojo, and stared up at him with his demonic crimson eyes. Here he was unchained and free, and staring up at his torturer, tormentor the very person had taken everything worth living for away from him, every hope and dream, and that very person Hojo was standing looking helplessly before him. His skin and bones began to twist and turn as his hatred of Hojo grew. It wasn't long before Hojo was face to face with the monster he created.

"Oh shit!" Hojo said to himself when he finally worked out whom or it was that sat before him. Surprisingly though Hojo did have a heart and it sunk below his chest as he gulped in fear. The beast took one deep breath and filled its lungs before releasing it again over Hojo's face. Hojo was paralysed with fear as the hot damp breath that stunk of the true smell of rotting corpses touched his face. The beast then lunged at him.

Sephiroth and Zack were waiting for a lift to come to take them back to ground level and the real world. Neither had spoken to each other, because all they wanted to do now was go and get plastered to the bar at Seventh Heaven, and forget the whole incident. They then both turned as they heard Hojo scream in a really sissy voice and the sounds of test tubes breaking, computer screens being smashed and speakers blaring white noise from the lab as utter chaos was taking place.

Sephiroth drew his masamune again. "Zack I think we should go and see how are bad luck has affected the good doctor now, shall we."

Zack in a split second had his buster sword on the ready. "Yeah, that perhaps might be a good idea."

The lift finally came, though it was ignored as the two generals ran back to the lab to be surprised by what they saw. The good Doctor himself was being held up high in the air by his neck, his life slowly slipping away as he was being suffocated by Chaos itself. The beast maintained a ghastly smile of satisfaction on its face, as it heard every painful gulp and squeal for air Hojo made, this was revenge at its finest, revenge for everything. Then it turned its head towards the Generals, its oversized tongue lolling out of its mouth covered in drawl between its teeth.

"Oh shit!" Sephiroth said.

"We can't even think of beating that thing, well if we wanna live!" Zack's face went pale and his legs were completely paralysed in their place. A tortured soul confined in a metal sphere in Hojo's lab swore that it saw Zack see the spirit of Lucifer in the monster before him, it saw this even if it was headless.

The beast through Hojo aside through a glass window that separated off another room in the lab, it then approached them and came nose to nose with Sephiroth's. Its ghastly tongue rolled around in its mouth as it said, "I cannot kill you today, but only because you have given me my revenge, and after all you are Lucrecia's son." The beast snarled, before turning into what could only be described a purple haired dog like creature that then knelt down on all fours and dashed down the corridor. The generals just stared as its shadow disappeared around the corner, then further destruction could be heard in the distance and the odd blood curdling scream, but it soon stopped as the echoes faded down the hallways.

"That was Vincent right?" Sephiroth turned his head towards Zack as he said this; Zack was still in shock and just stood there shaking and his pale sweating face nodded. "We so owe that guy and drink!" Sephiroth said this with his trademark smile over his face. Though he lost the smile when he saw his fried had fainted and collapsed into a big heap on the floor next to him.

(...Scene Change...)

Sephiroth sat at the bar of Seventh Heaven, Zack sat next to him and was trembling while he sipped on the large pint of beer Sephiroth had bought him, to try and get him out of shock, though it wasn't working.

Other Shinra employee's especially the Turks were there as well. Reeve and Rude were plastered against the bar, though Elena and Reno were still in some sort of a drinking contest with each other.

"You don't want to know how much trouble you're in Seph with Shinra." Elena said this while downing another vodka shot.

"Its not Shinra he should worry about its his son Rufus who has ants in his pants about how much damage there was to the lab and building as well as the staff casualties when that monster tore through the building." Reno said this as his face was slowly turning red from drinking too much.

"Yeah well, when is dads funeral and how much do I have to pay the undertaker." Sephiroth said this with not a hint of concern on his face, as he downed vodka shot.

"Hojo's still alive!" Reno said this with a surprised look on his face, "Didn't you even check after he was attacked by Vincent."

"Nope, I just prayed for a miracle and it hasn't been granted." A look of disappointment covered Sephiroth's face, the same look that a child would have, if he/she were told that Christmas was cancelled.

"You are a cruel man Seph." Reeve said, even though he was really too plastered to have a proper role in the conversation.

"Yeah but I think we all would rather Hojo be dead then alive and trying to stab syringes in are backs on a regular basis." Reno said this while his arm slowly went round Elena though she just slapped him on the hand and he withdrew it and stared at her puppy-eyed. "You know one day you'll end up with me Elena you can't resist my good looks and charm."

"Then what would you call what I've done ever since I've known you!" Elena then smiled in a I so pity you way.

"Err..." Reno gave a blank expression at this.

"Any way what was Vincent doing down caged up in the lab in the first place? He looked human enough compared to the other things down there." Said Sephiroth.

"He was in a relationship with your mother, and Hojo didn't like that particularly" Replied Reeve.

"Oh well, I still feel sorry for the guy being locked up down there anyway." Sephiroth thought that Lucrecia would have probably been better off with anyone but his father.

"You should do, Hojo is threatening to cut off whichever arm it was that Vincent strangled him with, once he catches him." Reeve looked concerned as he uttered this to Sephiroth.

"I think you better put up some rule for Hojo that stops him from experimenting on people out of personal revenge." Sephiroth finished his last shot and signalled to Tifa at the other end of the bar to get him a beer as well a Zack who had just finished his last one.

"And which unfortunate employee shall I send down to the lab to tell Hojo that if I did have such a rule put in place." Said Reeve.

"Don't then, I would never send someone into that lab, because personally you should never make someone do something I wouldn't do myself." Sephiroth said this with an innocent smile on his face.

Zack snapped out of shock when he heard this, "Yes you bloo would! How would you explain what you did to me bloo earlier!" Though Zack was soon silenced and so were all the other men at the bar, when Tifa leaned over the bar to serve Sephiroth and Zack their drinks, thus everybody could see the tops of her boobs hanging down from under her T-shirt through the collar.

To be continued? Defiantly.

Author Note: Sorry this has taken me forever to put up. It has taken me two weekends to write this and last weekend I was feeling really ill and I had a cold so I stayed off from school on Monday. So the next day I went back to boarding and my cold went away but I kept getting these horrible pains in my left ear and I couldn't hear through it properly. So when I came home on Friday I went to the Doctor and he looked in my ear and said I had a nasty ear infection behind the eardrum. Now I'm on these antibiotic pill things that I have to take three times a day to clear up the infection but never mind. There are further chapters planned for this so that wasn't the end, this is a horror parody after all. You'll find out what the next chapter is when I put it up in a few weeks, but for now please review.

Also FFlove190 you asked when will I put up the next chapter of 'Our fates were all decided under the same evening sky'. I will in a week or two. All that I have to do is correct Sapphires part, which was written by my friend Emmy190, and I have already corrected Hazel and Sephiroth's parts that I write myself. The reason why it has taken me so long was because it's a team effort fanfic and Emmy190 kept forgetting to email her part of the chapter to me. I'm very glad you like it because nobody has ever reviewed it before. Well I'm sorry I haven't updated it this weekend but at least you have time to pull that nice comfy chair you were talking about up to your computer.


	3. Chapter 3

Hojo's Transylvanian Pet Shop 

Chapter 3: Dr. Davros

By The Stick Rabbit

Final Fantasy VII Characters belong to Square Soft (Also now known as Square Enix). Apologies to the BBC, I'll own up in the next chapter's disclaimer, but it will spoil the surprise if I mention it now. I also dedicate this chapter to my younger brother Luke, for his love of the TV series that gave me the idea that sprouted into the jars of pulsating green goo at the end of the chapter.

This Chapter has been written for the following reviewers:

FFlove190

Yoshia

Cyndane

Ksim3000

LadyKadaj

Ledikins

Emmy19

Authors Note: (Ducks at projectiles that are being thrown at her for lack of updating) Ok I am so sorry, you have my humble apologies that I have not updated anything for what seems like and eternity. I have been so unbelievable busy lately that I have had very little time to update any of my fanfiction. Also all rumours that may of come up that I died of the ear infection I mentioned last chapter are greatly exaggerated. Actually I have just read through the two previous chapters to see which way I could best follow on the story, and completely forgotten about that horrible ear problem, which seems to be forever ago. I have been perfectly healthy since apart from the odd cold, which hardly amounted to anything apart from the sniffles. I updated my 'Our fates were all decided under the same evening sky' fanfiction, yet I think I will just give up on it because only two people have reviewed it. This on the other hand I think has done extremely well with reviewers. So thanks to all your reviews, I decided to put my hands to my computer keyboard to give you another chapter of 'Hojo's Transylvanian Pet Shop'. Warnings this chapter contains major weirdness, hence from writing it at 11.30pm GMT (yes I did kinda write this at midnight) on Good Friday. Happy Easter and Enjoy! Down one of the brightly lit hallways of Shinra HQ, the limping footsteps of a man who looked like he had been recently mauled by a rabid dog, and for others sake had unfortunately survived the attack, was bottling up his raging temper deep inside his lungs, he then knocked on the door of the Head of Shinra. A woman who had the dress sense of a hoar opened the door. 

"Well if it isn't Doctor Davros himself." Scarlet said this with a daring grin on her as if she had achieved something.

"You will very much regret saying that Miss Scarlet as some of my research has contributed to the anti-wrinkle cream you wear upon your withered face." Hojo said this with a wolfish smile that went across his face, which almost disturbingly touched his ears.

"Hmph, I'm not that old granddad!" With that she left the room.

"You may enter, Hojo." Shinra said this, he knew what was coming and he didn't like it, sweat ran down his forehead and he felt pale and dizzy, as Hojo entered his office, bringing the mixed smells of the lab, that clung to him like a curse. The smells of disinfectant and stale urine filled Shinra's room that normally only smelt of his musky after-shave as well as the little mixed bowls of pot-purée, which contained dried leaves and fruit mix. It was of the same mix that people leave around their homes and lavatories on empty windowsills, for decoration and as a failing attempt to hide the smells of cigarette smoke or of their own pets. "What could you possible want at this time of morning."

"One of my lab projects has escaped and the Turks were to intoxicated to retrieve it!" Hojo said this with rage lapping under his tongue.

"Well every one should have learnt by now that the Turks are rendered inactive by the time the bars open, Hojo." Shinra said this in a way that showed he was hardly interested in the trivial matters Hojo wanted to address him with.

"I expect you to send the Turks down to me, so I can brief them how best to catch my experiment later on today." He smiled insanely at this.

"Hojo, you know I would do know such thing, I still want the Turks in one piece for my own business purposes, sending them down to you would be like sending you down a new box of lab rats as a Christmas present!" Shinra said this and spared Hojo a glance up from his paper work. "I think it would be a better idea, if I notify my son Rufus about the situation, and he get in contact with the Turks about it himself."

Satisfied with the only possible solution to his problem he was going to get, Hojo had one other thing to ask up his sleeve. "Also I would like to step up lab security, with a new robotic defence system project I have been recently creating. May I have permission to initiate the prototypes when I have completed them."

"When you say a defence system Hojo, this doesn't include zombified Wutia prisoners of war, genetically enhanced lab rats or the basilisk from Harry Potter you've been threatening to attack Scarlet with for the past 8 months?"

"No, though I am tempted to feed scarlet the harlot to that giant snake, but it might choke to death on her fishnets. " evil intent shone from his eyes but Shinra failed to notice.

"Very well then Hojo, do as you wish." Hojo declined his head at this out of forced respect, before leaving the room. Shinra then slid open the top draw of his desk, and pulled out a can of air freshener that he then sprayed generously around the room.

(…Scene Change…)

Down in highly sterile depths of Hojo's laboratory, the good Doctor was concentrating intensely on many jars of pulsating puke green liquid. He clambered onto a small stool so he could reach the highest jar and climbed down with it again. He stared into it and watched it pulsate like the way a human heart does after its been ripped out from the body. This is because the cardiac muscle is completely different to the muscle in all other areas of the body. The cardiac muscle is myogenic, which means that it contracts and relaxes by itself and does not need to receive impulses from a nerve to make it do so. This is why a heart may carry on to beat, long after it has been removed from the human body. Though this was no human heart, it was beyond any scientific explanation, one of Hojo's more glorious scientific accidents. This thing had been born from pain, suffering, hate and evil, little did Hojo realise that what he was holding could be considered as evil as the spawn of Satan himself. Cradling the jar in his arms with glee and excitement he opened the robotic suit he had made for it and many others, and poured it into a small chamber. Within the chamber it took on the shape of something so evil as such it was beyond the human imagination, beyond description, it had taken on the very shape of evil, it was its personification. Though Hojo was to blind to realise this as he closed the door of the metal suit it was in. He stepped back to marvel at his creation. The robot lifted its single glass eye, which was protruding from its body that was shaped like a nobbled salt shaker, by a long metal leaver, so it could move it up and down as it looked beyond its creator at its brothers and sisters that lined the shelves in glass jars.

To be continued…

Whoa here we go again. Isn't this little chapter an exiting taste of things to come? Ok I'm sorry I know it was an unbelievable short chapter, but I thought this would be the best possible cliff hanger, to get people begging for more with. I know I'm very cruel to all you people out there that hate cliffhangers, but I promise that the next chapter will be much longer. If you have got an idea of what is going on, because I have left little clues sprinkled throughout this short chapter of what may be going to happen then you deserve a pat on the back. People who guess correctly on what they think Hojo has created in there reviews will get an honourable mention at the end of next chapter and will get any suitable questions they may wish to ask me answered to the full as well. Oh I just can't wait to post the next chapter. So get reviewing with your answer to what you may think are good Doctor Hojo has created if you want me to write the next chapter.


	4. Chapter 4

Hojo's Transylvanian Pet Shop 

Chapter 4: Dr. Davros Part II

By The Stick Rabbit

'Final Fantasy VII' Characters belong to Square Soft (Also now known as Square Enix). Daleks and other 'Doctor Who' references all belong to the BBC.

IMPORTANT NOTE: IF YOU DO NOT KNOW WHAT A DALEK LOOKS LIKE, THEN PLEASE LOOK IT UP ON GOOGLE IMAGE SEARCH NOW. IT SHOULD MAKE THIS CHAPTER A BIT MORE SCARY FOR YOU.

This Chapter as is part one of 'Dr. Davros' is dedicated to my little brother Luke, because of him watching an episode of 'Doctor Who' while I was sorting some stuff out in the same room inspired the story.

It is also written for the following reviewers of the last Chapter:

Yoshia – I'm really sorry this chapter update took longer then the last one but I'm planning a Christmas special so you will be guaranteed a horrifying, yet extremely touching Christmas Story. It should be posted in late December so please keep your author alert on (It's amazing to think someone put me on there author alert I'm so touched). Thank you so much for your support.

( Winner) Jade Rowwood – Well you never know the daleks could have originated from a mako experiment it would certainly explain a lot. Good try even though you didn't mention the word Dalek you where the closest to the answer. Therefore I declare you the winner anyway. I will put a star by your name. Also hands Jade a complimentary packet of Chocobo shaped cookies.

Emmy19 – As always thank you for your loyal and undying support of all my fanfiction and hopefully we can write some more of the making of kingdom hearts together soon.

Authors Note: The authors note has been moved to the bottom of the chapter, as I reckon most of you want to get on with reading the story, and I think my note contains minor spoilers so I will leave it till last.

Scarlet stared at the flaming Shinra HQ building before her. There were various fire crews around her, though she did wish that Shinra had spent a little more on the funding of the emergency services. She thought this, as she seemed to be surrounded by young cowboys who didn't really know the first thing about how to put out a fire. She watched them showing off to the receptionists in their snazzy fireman uniforms as they attempted to drag the hoses to the hottest part of the flames on one side of the building. As the fireman finally started to quench the thirst of the hungry fire, a leather clad hand landed upon Scarlet's shoulder, as it squeezed her gently, she jumped.

"You called." Sephiroth looked down at Scarlet quickly noticing her jump. He then turned his attention to stare at the burning building, "I see if Christmas hasn't come early. I be damned." A smile grew on his lips. Zack laughed behind him.

"Its no laughing matter Seph, we don't know exactly what's caused it, but the whole buildings up in smoke. We've managed to get nearly all the staff we could out when the fire and security alarms went off, but about a quarter is still in there and presumed dead. There is belief that it was started by these new lab security robots your father has just put online, well this is according to the survivors in the offices just above the labs, they were the ones that set all the alarms off. Apparently these robots refer to themselves as Daleks after they broke out the lab before starting of the biggest Shinra staff massacre recorded since your father let loose those genetically enhanced lab rats." She took a deep breath after finishing, what seemed to be like a long speech. The mascara was starting to run down the sides of her watery eyes, due to the immense heat of the flames coming off the building.

"I thought weapons and defence was your department, Scarlet?" Sephiroth lifted a questioning eyebrow as he turned to face her again.

"Don't ask, apparently Shinra authorised this it didn't come by my department." She pouted, that's why we've had to call in the army if it is a Hojo related incident we don't want amateurs marching in to there deaths." She then turned and pointed to the Turks who where sitting on the tarmac that was starting to show signs of melting in the heat of the flames, they had their backs leaning against the side of one of the fire engines. It was after 6pm so the Bars and Clubs had opened and the Turks had hit them early after work. Even though the season was early autumn the winter cold had already set in as well as the sun setting earlier so it was already a dark, and the stars where starting to shine through the polluted sky. However these little details were unnoticeable as the building was giving off so much heat if you shut your eyes it could be a stuffy summer evening. Rude as always could handle his drink so he was sitting up pretty straight, Elena was the same though even though she wasn't afraid to drink anyone under the table, she was talking to Tseng who was the only one standing up though still leaning against the fire engine. However the same could not be said for Reno who was pissed out of his wits clutching a bottle of 'Tonberry's Strongest Brew' in his hands. "This lot," as she waved her pointed finger up and down "are bloody useless, if they had gone in guns a-blazing at these lab defence robots perhaps the situation wouldn't have gotten this bad."

"Homicidal robots are not in our job descriptions ma'am." Reno said sarcastically as he attempted to clumsily salute Scarlet. She ran her hands quickly over her face to try and tuck back the loose strands of hair that where falling out of her neat hairdo, as she thought of the best course of action to take next. The heavy smell of smoke and burning office plastics were starting to become too much for her. She wanted nothing better then to go home and snuggle up in her warm dressing gown on the sofa, with a microwave ready meal and watch a film with her cat softly purring beside her. She then awoke from her thoughts as she heard a spray-can be shaken then hissing as it was being used.

"What the hell are you doing Sephiroth!" She exclaimed as she turned to see Sephiroth and Zack lavishly applying anti-flammable hair spray to their hair.

"Fire proofing our hairdo's." Zack said this as he finished spraying his hair. He then began to tie a black handkerchief around his mouth because of the smoke. However Sephiroth was now on his third can of anti-flammable hair spray and seemed completely absorbed in making sure that all the ends of his hair were completely dripping with the stuff.

"Why the hell don't you just tie it back Sephiroth like any normal person, or have it cut short!" Exclaimed Scarlet she really wanted to get the situation neutralised and go home.

"It wouldn't look half as cool, as I walk through those flames if my hair couldn't sway freely behind me." With this said, he unsheathed the masamune. "So I suppose what you want us to do is go and destroy these robots and regain control of the building."

"Yeah and see if you can rescue any survivors." Scarlet was starting to search through her bag for her car keys, she would phone Reeve to come and take her place.

"Does my father if alive count as a survivor." Sephiroth turned on his intercom.

"Nope." Scarlet was now thrashing her hand through her lipstick red goóche handbag, as it desperately searched for her car keys.

"Excellent." With this Sephiroth and Zack went towards the burning Shinra HQ building. Sephiroth looking extremely cool as he entered the building with his hair swaying freely behind him and five well suited up military personal trailed in behind them.

After they entered the building a burning Dalek smashed through the 25th floor window, it seemed to levitate for a second while screaming "exterminate, exterminate!" Before dropping several hundred feet to its death barely missing a now rather shocked fireman.

Even though the whole building seemed alight from outside it was only really half, as Shinra had spent at least some part of there budget on a main fire wall that ran down the entire building. Even though the fire-doors on this wall could only probable hold out for another half hour until they where nothing but ash, the wall itself would only blacken and perhaps melt slightly, but it would stand its ground out till the end of the blaze. As our two brave heroes approached the bottom basement level, looking like a pair of sodden drowned rats, as the sprinklers where connected to the mains water supply they were still at full blast. One of them unsheathed his mouth from its black handkerchief as the smoke was starting to clear, as it hadn't reached this section, so he could speak.

"Sephiroth, haven't you notice anything unusual." Zack looked like a racoon as the smoke had made the unprotected part of his face black, namely the area around his eyes.

"Like what?" Sephiroth said this as he concentrated on jumping the last few steps of the stairs in one go onto the basement floor, which was flooded completely up to about shoulder height, since there was nowhere for the water to drain away from the sprinklers.

"Well shouldn't there be like dead bodies floating around and homicidal robots coming around every corner trying to kill us with their evil laser beams."

"Zack you watch to much television." Sephiroth sighed. He was to busy concentrating on arranging his hair, as it seemed to be matting as the ends of it were floating in the sludge filled water.

"I know but it seems awfully quiet." As he said this he watched Sephiroth trudge forward through the cold water. He wasn't looking forward to being soaked through to the bone, but jumped in anyway. This caused a massive splash that if Sephiroth wasn't wet enough already, he was now completely drenched, his hair dripping with bits of slime that must of soaked of the walls into the water.

The end point of the masamune surfaced through the water next to Zack's throat. "If you do that again, I will have to kill you." Sephiroth said this annoyed, he then was surprised to see Zack's eyes open wide in horror but not because he had his sword pressed against his throat, in the darkness he could see a light reflecting in Zack's eyes. He felt something tap him on the shoulder. Sephiroth turned to see a dark orb connected to a leaver like stick, it had a small dilating light in the centre that seemed to be staring at him, as it ducked and resurfaced through the water. "Zack get out the water now!"

With that command spoken, Zack jumped out of the water and slipped on the concrete steps, slamming his jaw on them as he fell, he almost broke it. "Owww shit that hurt!" The fall had left him immobile for a few seconds, so as Sephiroth leapt ahead up the steps he grabbed the back of Zack's collar and dragged him up the steps. The water started to ripple and part as about six robots rose through it moving slowly on. Once at the top of the steps after knocking over several of the other retreating soldiers, Zack regained his balance and unsheathed his buster sword. Sephiroth gave the command for the five militia to arm themselves and be on the ready to fire. The daleks piled up at the bottom of the stairs and lifted their eyes to stare at Sephiroth who was standing in front of the soldiers.

"Can't do stairs can we." Sephiroth said looking very proud of himself he waved his sword mockingly at them. "So what do you think gives you the right to ruin a perfectly good evening, by setting the whole building alight.

The Dalek turned his head around to the others behind him in the water. They all nodded their irises as if agreeing on something with him. As it turned back to face Sephiroth once more the two lights on the side of its dome shape head flashed for every syllable of the following as it spoke: "Our goal is to exterminate all earth men and become the supreme rulers of the Universe."

"That's a hell of a lot of shit for a robot to think up, besides I was planning on doing that myself in the future. Fire away boys!" Sephiroth signalled for the men to open fire. The bullets poured out of the guns only to fall off what seemed to be invisible electric shields the daleks seemed to be emitting. The daleks at the bottom of the stairwell started to wave their short leaver-like arms crying "exterminate, exterminate."

"You guys are really full of a lot of shit aren't you! I'll come down there and slice you up, myself!" With this Sephiroth started to descend down the stairs again, but stopped when he heard the ping of an elevator door opening about 10 metres behind him and his men. A swarm of another six daleks poured out the elevator screaming at the top of their robotic voices "exterminate, exterminate!" Sephiroth and Zack stood stunned as the ones from the elevator shot at three of the men behind him, there flesh bodies dissipated instantly when hit, revealing there skeletons for a split second that turned into clouds of ash as they hit the floor. Sephiroth turned to see the daleks at the bottom of the stair well begin to levitate out of the water and rise the stairs. "Sod this!" Sephiroth shouted before he screamed retreat to his men as he ran back up the stairs and turned quickly to follow Zack who was already running up the stairs to the next floor. This all happened over a split number of seconds, so by the time Sephiroth was up the next set of stairs two more of the soldiers had been killed the latter being fried by an approaching Dalek as he swung onto the banister of the stairs after Sephiroth.

(…Scene Change…)

Hojo was quite happily going about his usual lab business, which included flicking test tubes, recording temperature changes and occasional torturing of some poor innocent creature to death in the name of science. So all in all it was a good day. His so called robotic defence system was patrolling around his laboratory, even he was slightly disturbed by the fact every once in a while one of them seemed to be right in front of him watching his movements closely. Lifting its leaver like eye up and down to check what he was doing. Even more interestingly sometimes they even looked as if they might even be reading his work. Though he just put it down to them trying to fit in, though even he was not blind enough to notice though that there was a new rhythm to his laboratory. Though he was happy as he was getting more work done, there was the feeling that he was being moved around by the presence of these creatures. He had decided to call his new creations daleks, as he had found the blue prints to make them labelled so. A previous lab scientist had drawn up the plans some 40 years ago called Dr. Davros. Conveniently though Dr. Davros had gone missing some 40 years ago so with some modifications of course using his much loved ingredient mako Hojo had managed to create Dr. Davros security robots and with Dr. Davros gone he could take all the credit for it.

However our good doctor was not aware of the chaos that had happened throughout the Shinra building, he had heard the alarms at some stage but he had just taken them as being a fire drill, so he had ignored them until they stopped. Little did he know that the reason they had stopped was because most of the wires that lead from each alarm to the other had melted in the heat of the flames on one side of the building above the laboratory. He also was so absorbed in his work that he hadn't noticed the temporary power-cuts on one side of the laboratory on the electric cages of his God forsaken mutilated creatures. Then again perhaps if he bothered to check on them once in a while instead of when he wanted to conduct some sick experiment then he would have noticed the reason they hadn't managed to get out in the regular power-cuts, was because they where all dead. Lying in there cages was nothing more then their own hot steaming remains, the ones that had not completely disintegrated on being shot left only scattered pieces of bloodied flesh mixed with the ash of there bones. The daleks had killed them all.

(…Scene Change…)

The upper corridors had regained a quiet peace you may say the type of peace when just about all the Shinra employees have gone home to bed. The only people around are unlucky few who picked up their rosters for the week ahead and had the bad luck of noticing that the nightshift box had been ticked for all seven days in a row, which is about as bad as it gets. For the first few days these hard working employees act perfectly normal, but by the third night in a row, they have turned into nocturnal coffee addicted zombies. The science theory behind this is that naturally as it gets dark the body's metabolism slows down, and the digestive system by late evening will have almost switched completely off. So while your asleep you tend to breath more slowly as your body is only really keeping vital functions such as respiration online. For example if you eat an apple before you go to bed your body wouldn't bother digesting it till the morning, so all it would do is ferment and make a low level alcohol in the bottom of your stomach, and give you wind. The reason these people become zombified is that there body clock alarm is going off at fall blast to shut the body down for the night. If their will power is strong then they can hold out till they go to bed at six in the morning, and if it isn't well that's why 'Red Bull' was invented. Even if they sleep the moment they get back in, if the suns already risen then the body clock turns the digestive system back on again. So even if they are sleeping there body isn't regaining half the amount of strength it should because it's all switched on. However these corridors weren't silent because half the staff where asleep on the keyboards of there laptops, the daleks had slaughtered them all mercilessly earlier.

The corridor important to this story was darker then it was outside apart from the occasionally flickering of the broken ceiling lights, the fire had now almost diminished completely as it had began to rain outside. Leaving half the building steaming but structurally unsound and burnt out. The smoke still poured out the broken windows into the nightsky that was slightly amber due to light pollution coming off the city lights underneath it. The silence of this corridor was however disturbed as the squeaking noise of wet rubber and leather trudged exhaustedly up the hallway.

"I think we've lost them." Sephiroth said this as he ran panting up the corridor and swung left into the photocopying room nearly knocking the door of its hinges and it slammed against the wall. Zack followed him in and kicked the door shut behind before bolting it. Zack then sat down on the opposite side of the room to Sephiroth who was nearest the door, landing into a heap on the floor. They where both shivering from being soaked through to the bone, as well as worn out from running as there uniforms had been made heavy from being water-logged.

Zack sighed, the expression on his face looked sunken and spaced-out, like the light was on but nobody was in, he was mortified. "They just turned to ashes."

"I know." Even though Sephiroth had seen and done many things that nobody should have to in there lifetimes, he had built up a mental block so he was rarely affected by the blood and gore of his job. However no matter how high someone builds a wall up to protect themselves against harsh reality of life, pain will always find a crack in it to leak through and eat away at it silently until that crack becomes hole in which the wall will eventually breakdown around and fall. This leaves whatever was being protected to be broken. So no matter how stone hearted and emotionless he could be about such issues as the death of his men, it was eating him away inside, he had been affected by it.

Zack sighed, his lower jaw was starting to swell into a purple bruised bump where he had hit it earlier on the stairs. "What are we going to do now Sephiroth?" A small trickle of blood ran off his cut lip down the side of his swollen chin.

"I'm going to phone up Scarlet for back-up." Sephiroth fiddled with his intercom for a few seconds. It hissed quietly and basically died as water dripped out of the bottom of it. However if the intercom had worked Scarlet probable wouldn't have picked it up as she was now asleep on her sofa, with a half-eaten microwave meal, and her cat purring softly next to her. However though Reeve had now taken her place outside the building and was reading a copy of the 'Shinra Times' while the Turks where sipping Coffee trying to prepare themselves for there oncoming hangovers. "Shit!" Sephiroth threw the device across the room; it smashed upon impact as it hit the opposing wall. "I suppose the best thing we can do is sit it out here till morning and try and escape or wait for help to come."

"Sephiroth I'm cold." Wined Zack he had began to turn blue. "I think I'm going to die." He then keeled over into an unconscious lump on the floor. Sephiroth sighed before he then crawled over to the side of the small room they were in and took off his leather trench coat and placed it over Zack and lay down beside him trying to keep his unconscious friend warm as there was nothing else he could do. He himself started to feel desperately colder so he huddled up to Zack's warm body and pulled some of his coat back over himself again. Sephiroth took one last gaze at the door, some dim light slid through the tiny window in the top of it, keeping the room from being plunged into complete darkness. Zacks jumper dug into his face as he rested his head against his warm chest; this feeling comforted him though as he slipped into unconsciousness.

A group of about six daleks slid silently up the corridor. They turned their half-domed heads around, as their eyes lifted up and down as they patrolled the corridor. One of them saw the two cold figures on its heat sensor, through the wall of a small room on the left. It turned its head around to face the others, the two lights on the sides of its dome flashing for every syllable of its grating machine voice as it instructed them.

To be continued? Review if you want more! Well I wasn't planning on this being a three-part story, but its turned into one. I know things where a little slow paced this chapter, I'm having to get back into the rhythm of things. This chapter was really difficult to write, because I did not want to dive into immediately solving the situation, as I realised rushing it would only ruin the story line. After this story is finished before Christmas there should be a Vincent focused chapter, as well a Christmas special, which I've been dying to do, I think it might be a story line that even Tim Burton may be impressed with, hint.

Authors Note: Well nobody guessed 100 correctly what the 'nobbled salt shaker' robots were. Though I have to say I didn't really want to admit this was a bit of a crossover, its not a serious crossover its just for these three chapters. Though Jade Rowwood I have to say hit the nail on the head around 90 with her answer about a glob of mako that gained consciousness, I'd rather say though to be picky though it's a mako influenced glob of genetically modified goo. Well personally I don't blame you in the slightest if you have no clue what I was hinting at last chapter because if you don't live in England then you probable wouldn't have been exposed to some of the bizarre sci-fi we have on television over here. Namely 'Doctor Who' which seems to have had a massive comeback at the moment and just finished airing its first new season just before the summer holidays with more to come of the new season later on in the year though. I have to say even though the new series is a bit darker I do not like Billy Piper or Eggelston however you spell it. Why you might ask, well because there crap compared to past Doctors and assistants, plus Eggelston quite after a couple of episodes because he just couldn't be asked, there where plenty of other actors who would have had the role and done a better job of it. Apologies again for a seriously late update but this is the hardest two years of my life so far, I have so many exams its untrue and coursework that goes with them has meant that this has taken a back seat. Though I have a feeling I the updating will pick up pace soon probable after September 2006. Though you should get I reckon at least three of four more chapters before then with some being up before December 2005 that includes the Christmas special which should be bang on a couple of days before Christmas Eve. Though I am concentrating on this fan fiction solely again now, as previously I have been helping a friend with hers lately so this again took a back seat to that.


	5. Chapter 5

Hojo's Transylvanian Pet Shop 

**Chapter 5: Dr. Davros Part III**

By The Stick Rabbit

'Final Fantasy VII' Characters belong to Square Soft (Also now known as Square Enix). Daleks and other 'Doctor Who' references all belong to the BBC.

AN: I have suffered massive writer's block as this story was meant to be a short filler story but has became a main plot by itself. I'm a bit worried that it may have gone a bit sour though due to my nearly year or over of not updating, has no clue how long its been. Everything else has got in the way of it. However the 'Dr Davros' side of things is beginning to come to a close and hopefully more interesting chapters will follow. This is just really a short chapter to help warm up to this again. Worked hard on it none-the-less so please enjoy!

This Chapter as is part one and two of 'Dr. Davros' is dedicated to my little brother Luke, because of him watching an episode of 'Doctor Who' while I was sorting some stuff out in the same room inspired the story.

It is also dedicated to all the kind people who clicked 'go' next to submit a review. I LOVE YOU ALL and your kind words are the reason I got this back out the closet and didn't give up on it forever.

The pungent smell of chlorine and other disinfectants wafted up through Sephiroth's nasal passages into his minds eye, that began to switch on a far away consciousness. The mind went back into distant memories of when he was a young boy tucked away safely within the covers of a warm bed as he began to awake. Though with his eyes still closed he remained trapped in the safety of darkness while his hearing began to receive the sound of rattling test tubes and the sweeping of broken glass. Recent memories flicked through his mind like a flash of lightning returning fast-forwarding the clock to the present. Jumping slightly as green eyes opened to the perverted world around him, squinting to try and focus through the blinding lights of the laboratory. A clock hung high upon the wall came into focus marking countless hours away from time that he and Zack had entered the photocopying room, Sephiroth felt that in his unconscious sleep he had been dead to time itself.

His stiff body turned upon its side, noticing the still unconscious Zack, whose form was slumped not so far from him on an identical mass-produced dentistry chair. The lab had an eerie quietness to it; the only sound was that of the buzz of the electric lights. Judging that the lab was lifeless, and no sign of the bizarre security robots or worse his cruel father, Sephiroth rolled off his seat, and approached Zack, his friend's features looked beautiful and peaceful, a pure innocence that only sleep could bring. Suddenly a wicked thought blew through Sephiroth's mind. His evil green eyes trailed over to a box of sick bags not so far from the sink in the room. Reaching over he grabbed one and took it up to his lips, drawing a deep breath before blowing it up like a balloon he then placed it directly above Zack's head, he clapped it between his hands.

BANG! 

"What the FK was that?" Zack said startled awake from his slumber. Sephiroth burst out laughing as at the confused expression on Zack's face. "That's not bloody funny!" Zack spoke aloud as he stared squinting around the room the light being made painful to the eyes as it reflected off the white walls and silver and glass apparatus that filled it. "Oh shit, how did get here?"

"To be honest. I don't know, all I remember is falling asleep in that copying room, after those darn robots blew our party to smithereens." As Sephiroth spoke, silently one of the security robots slid along the hallway, its leaver like eye gazing through the glass windows of the room that they occupied as it passed. Sephiroth caught it in the corner of his eye. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking, Zack."

"That Tifa's breasts might not be real? Seph."

"NO!" Sephiroth sighed wondering of what perverted dreams his innocent looking friend may have had in his sleep. "I have an idea to get us out of here."

"What would that be Seph?"

"The same thing we do everyday, Zack. Escape through the ventilation shafts in the ceiling." With this said, Sephiroth climbed onto the dentistry chair that he had been unconscious upon and had to lean awkwardly forward to pull off the nearest grated square in the ceiling. His gloved fingers grating against it as it broke free and bashed against the floor with an ear-wrenching resonant sound.

"Keep it down a bit!" Zack exclaimed, sitting on the edge of his chair, still not fully awake, the shock from earlier had yet to sink in. His last memory being of the feeling of Sephiroth's head falling asleep upon his chest, his light silver mane resembling peaceful rivers against his dark jumper, his hot breath seeping through the mixed fibres of cotton and wool. He pretended to be asleep as Sephiroth's mind returned to the darkness in which it was born, before sliding a gloved hand through the silver the softness apparent and comforting even between the leather, before his mind joined his general in peaceful purgatory.

After pushing his thoughts aside as their return haunted him, he got up to keep a look out. The door had been locked from the outside. Looking down to the far end of the hall through the sterile glass he noticed a rather foreign looking object, it was dark blue with the words 'Police Box' written in white above the door, they looked back lit to. "Your Dad, into antiques Seph."

"Do not refer to the poor excuse for a human being as my Dad if you please and no he isn't if he didn't make it a decades ago." With that he disappeared up the shaft. Zack went back across the room leapt up onto the chair and followed after him.

"Still I think you should take a look at this." Zack crawled in the opposite direction to his friend, and the way out. Sephiroth sighed and turned to follow after him. Luckily the vent did go over the Police Box so they got a birds eye view of it as they stared down through the nearest grate.

"Nope no clue what that is." Sephiroth said uncaringly. At which point about a dozen black daleks passed underneath then followed by a rather alarmed looking young blonde woman. Who was being pushed forward from behind by another dalek accompanied by another couple of its comrades. She had no means of which to escape.

"We have to help her." Zack said enthusiastically.

"Why?" Sephiroth said as he was disappearing back up the passage.

"Because it's the right thing to do. Plus she's hot."

"Meaning that if she wasn't you wouldn't give a damn, or it's an added bonus if she decides to sleep with you as some kind of perverse thank you. Though only if you don't get your brains fried or blown out to smithereens in the process."

"Have you know gentlemanly nature in your Seph, to save a damsel in distress!"

"I don't even consider myself human or natural in anyway. Plus that line needs some wine to accompany all the cheese."

However Zack had already removed the grate and leapt into the hallway infront of the Police Box and was now chasing after his fair maiden not catching the last words of the sentence. Sephiroth sighed staring forward at his known route out, after much practice in the past. Taking a last look at what could be freedom, he turned round ready to crawl back into the belly of a garish white hell.

End of Chapter 5

A/N: Yes there was a line in tribute to 'Pinky and the Brain'.

To be continued if I get some feedback.

Please leave a review good or bad.


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